Megatron's Gquail.com FAQ

"Humans! They cover this planet like a fungus, thriving of the energy sources here that they squander on such meaningless drivel as "traffic lights", as "fairy lights", as "the internet". At least when we first landed here, they had the dignity to promptly run away in terror, but now we seem to have become just a part of their lives. And yet, I cannot remove every one of these parasites from existence. No, some of them have uses...

My attempt to take over this entire site and use it as a platform for an electronic Decepticon invasion has not gone as quickly as planned, but now we control the FAQ it is only a matter of time. DECEPTICONS FOREVER! MUHUHAHAHA!"

Question 1: Why two years since the last major update? Whassup, too busy failing to chat up the ladies? Only just got back from Germany? What happened?
Answer: How dare you, foolish fleshling! You think that the whole world revolves around you? The agents of the Deceptions have been spending the past two years on a delicate brain-washing experiment involving this fool you call George in order to turn him into our newest and most powerful weapon. Only now that his foolish fanatisism for the Autobot creed has been shattered can he be returned to his life, and carry on with such luxuries as updating his web site.

Question 2: What happened to the old Angband competition? I quite enjoyed playing that...
Answer: I happened, fleshling! The mighty Megatron and his army of Decepticon warriors descended upon the chaos that was George's psyche and removed all the elements that were wasting his time. And a bunch of Angband players who are told to wait and not post anything to him while he's on holiday because he can't do anything, and yet FLOOD HIS MAILBOX AND NOT THE PEOPLE LEFT IN CHARGE WHEN THINGS GO WRONG... well, that's what I call a waste of time. The poor sap now can't even remember what Angband means, let alone how to run a competition. And the least said about alt.toys.transformers, the better. Picard42 reminds me a lot of Starscream... Dangerous due to his sheer stupidity.

Question 3: Hey, stuff belonging to me is on this webpage! No-one asked me by mail, dude. What the $£@& is going on?
Answer: Oh, great, someone wants to be a hero. I'M A DECEPTICON, FOOL! I TAKE WANT I WANT! If I want your picture, I take it! If I want your quote, I take it! If I want your girlfriend, then damn it I'll take her as well! But it seems a bit too much of outmoded Autobot ethics have survived in George and there is a credits page to list such external sources. And if you'd actually looked at the info page properly, you would have seen a link to this credits page. But then I guess my own imposing image grabbed your attention...

Question 4: Forget a picture by me being on this page, a picture OF me is on this webpage! I don't want George's little perv friend seeing that. What the $£@& is going on?
Answer: You can do two things. "Nothing" and "like it". Your picture is in the archive, your name and face have been marked for mimicing by our new generation of Decepticon Prtenders. You should just lie down and accept your fate.

Or you could try bribing George with women. Last I checked, not even our psychological reprogramming could stop that, the big perv he is. (Have you seen the Pato's Angels gallery? Sweet Primus...

Question 5: I baited Mr Quail with girls, as you yourself suggested, oh mighty Megatron. But instead of using their gorgeousness to turn him to my favour, he has instead started running around mumbling something about Ihsan being in his mind and, for no good reason, started making cakes. What's all THAT about>
Answer: Ah, yes, the mind of Mr Quail may be powerful, but it has been known to... um, not react normally to stimuli? Next time, it's probablt better to try and shoot him. Apparently he takes that as qute a compliment.

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